Job Opening from Hell

I arrive to do a whole day interview process and induction in a well renowned reputable firm, fully backed by an elite clientele as well as a few ministers and other very important public and private figures. After the interview that lasted for 2 hours, It was time for me to take a break and go out with people my age!

Instead the CEO corners me in his office (A local) and insists and demands I go out to lunch with him, and even picks up his car keys and makes me way so that I can go with him and kicks out a senior employee from his office in the process.

At lunch he orders his favourites and every other possible dish available in the kitchen, and even tests the water and sees if alcohol is an option for me. I of course say no, and the conversations, as hard as I tried to keep them on the job, drifted somehow to men, women and their relationships!

For some reason I felt like I was being held hostage in that firm for the whole day. I stayed there till 8 o'clock at night, and worse, for about 3 hours I was in the CEO's office. He was taking every opportunitiy to get me tea, water, food. and talking endlessly!

Before I leave finally at 8 pm at night I am actually asked out for dinner by the CEO! more food? He even asked for my personal number, and suggested we go to the mall! What kind of job interview is this. My friend finally comes to my rescue (I have no means of contacting anyone the whole time as I am a hostage), and he even asks who she is and takes her number! Thank god for the creativity and intelligence we have for making up numbers.

I check my email after I finally leave, and I find one of the senior employees at the firm Wondering if he will ever be able to cook a meal for me, if we will ever play golf together, and if I am the one for him?! Another email sent went along the lines of you are gorgeous you smell good you are beatiful you are a flower. And yet another said that i should join the firm as I wouldnt know maybe my destiny and future love could be found if i did. As if all of that wasn't enough he also said that i never know I might meet the right person if I move to their firm!!

Latest pick-up line

Okay now check this out, you really gotta imagine this while remembering you're in the middle of a desert filled with skyscrapers..

White sexy Porsche Cayenne with extremely tinted windows passes by you while you're walking and comes to an abrupt stop, quickly reverses to catch up with you and slowly rolls down his black tinted windows so you can see his so not sexy face, actually just his horrible gay chanel shades and barely the lips while holding the most horrible invention on earth.. the midwa'7 (aka the arabic pipe/legal drug) and says "ti7fi6'een wela itsajleeen" (you'll memorize or save it on your fone?)

Driving skills

In a country where the majority can't drive since their minds are still stuck to the pre-historic times where this land was covered with sand and thus road rules are non-existent in their tiny weeny sad minds of theirs esp when they drive 4x4s its amazing how when they wanna flirt they can so easily keep up to your speed.. You step on it, he does too, you slow down, he does too.. the amazing part is that there never is lag between you two, he seems to always be right there persistent until his number is taken!

The art of flirting

Seeing as I find it soo difficult to find a man, I figured why not sit back and watch the various arts of flirting that our precious young men use to "woo" the young ladies shroweded in black..

1. Find any scrap piece of paper and flick it in the direction of the lady - just pray she can catch!
2. Chase her till your feet and tongue go numb from following and repeating your number over and over.
3. Follow step two, but make sure you reach her car (provided she drives) and note down her car plate number. Then, using your contacts find her name and phone number.
4. If your contacts were useless then drive around town aimlessly till one day miraculously you see her car again and follow step one but this time towards the car
5. Bluetooth!!! Provided you get the right name since bluetooth has become the new chat in the country and the new means of dating

I believe that sums it all! What a limited art!

Not so sweet ending!

The beginning of this story sounds promising, but the ending will surprise, or even shock some of you!

He had been interested in me for over three years apparently. and I believed it. I had seen him around socially and out in the open with friends, family and relatives. He had seen me many times before but had difficulty getting in touch, until one day he tried and was successful!

He was a very nice guy. Very smart, hard working and I am sure highly affectionate and an emotionally available potential mate. He found me, which is always nice when it comes to guys and girls. Guys doing the work is the natural thing, never the girl. He kept on getting in touch, which was lovely. We met up , we exchanged stories, talks, discussions, you name it!! Things were going okay. There was still no commitment, no love and nothing else. One bad habit was observed though. He was overly romantic in words far too soon, saying the words love, happiness and eternity all in one sentence, which sounded scarey.

Another worse habit was that he would cancel out on outings sometimes; always with a very good plausible excuse though. He managed to do that about three times. I realized that I didn't feel like being in touch since he did that! However, what impressed me about this guy was that he always did call, always apologized and was always in touch regardless of some mishaps during meeting up. Some days I got busy and totally forgot him. He expected too much so far so far as phone calls and stuff, and I didnt have the time or energy and interest to exchange that with him. He was nice and all but that's about it! I never really felt like calling him, which made me feel on top of the world somehow.

He kept on saying substantial things which freaked me out. like he loved me! or that he wanted to do things with me! like holidays and god knows what. I knew something was wrong with this person; and on some level believe it or not. Despite the fact he could be the perfect boyfriend, was so nice, polite and decent; deep down inside, truly and unmistakebly I felt like he was a liar. There was something dishonest about him, despite his tone, style, words and supposadely liberal thinking. and Time only proved me right!

The fact of the matter is, when a guy pursues a girl and is consistent with her, that proves his love for her. And this doesnt mean for a few weeks. I am talking about a lifetime of pursual and a show of affection. A lifetime is just a hyperbole for the fact that the pursual must definately last more then a month! With this guy it lasted for a month or two, but as soon as I faced an obstacle, which is got to busy for him , which I honestly did; as soon as I had things to take care of; circumstances to deal with, he was off the radar. He was angry I hadnt been in touch for some time even though he knew that I was living my life quite busy; however he asked me to get in touch with him. I sent him a msg once and after that and I never heard from him again.

To be honest, I am glad I got rid of him because he was pretty ordinary and there was no chemistry. But this story shows you that even when a guy is seriously interested in you for many years, and seems perfect in every way, which this guy was, it doesn't necessarily work out to be a fairy tale story. He was no cheat or player, but in spite of his serious nature and apparent decency he let go of me pretty quick which means all his promises of love and adoration floated into thin air!

Good riddance!

Bye means Bye!

Once upon a time a man got in touch with me expressing his undying love and attraction. He had seen me in different places and knew of me, and apparently heard of my savage beauty as he liked to call it. Eventually, his smile, expression and first few days of electrical affection proved his words right. He did have a crush on me, maybe even liked me. Over the next few weeks I warmed up to him and enjoyed his conversations. A good looking guy for once, who was funny and uplifting. However, I observed a very odd side to him.

Yes he was the perfect man on the outside, but over time he appeared so rigid, so routine, and very unavailabe. Questions like where did you spend your evening, and how did you meet this friend were all of a sudden of an offensive nature, and routine answers were always provided. I always felt like I bored him.

Topics discussed included how many minutes one jogs for before they get tired, and when does fish get fried for lunch in a household. I realized then there was something wrong with him, and more so in us communicating. As time passed, discussing day to day things with him proved to be challenging. He was there superficially, but I could never get to this man's core.

I realized the nature of this guy. He was boring, unattentive, unavailable and a critic who knew the price of everything and the value of nothing. When I first met him, it was fun testing the waters and wondering what a mad raging beauty catcher was all about, and now that I knew what this electron cloud was , the time came for me to repel. I tried doing that, by ignoring. However he kept getting back in touch, more like a routine part of his day more then anything else, until one evening I decided to put an end to it. I asked him not to call me back again because I felt like I was just that, a routine. I explained to him why. I expected him to say sorry or even ask me what was up, or why was I asking him never to call me again. But instead he shocked me, and replied, "Sure, Bye!"


I suppose he did mean what he meant, BYE. He literally obeyed me when I asked him not to call, without even making any deal whether small or big, of it at all.
Two things sprung up in my mind. What a weirdo for spending so much time and loosing so much of his dignity chasing me and then taking the first chance to stop talking to me, and then secondly boy that was the easiest guy do get rid of in the world!!

Why did he waste so much of his time talking about his affection for me? You would rarely see a woman do that!
Boys Lie, indeed.

Thankfully, we put boys through many tests before showing off any of our affection to them. Girls, why not try the "Hi, don't call me back, ok?" method!

The boy's resistance or not to that idea will tell you much about them!

Battery dead - more like run out of pick-up lines!

One day while I'm at the bank a man walks in, and soon enough he's talking on the phone.. I'm not one to eavesdrop, but he was way too loud and this is how his phone conversation went:

"Hey, how you doing? I'm alright thanks just at the bank transferring some money, yeah I'm standing in queue waiting for my turn.. Everything alright with you? Hey listen you mind calling me on my other number? coz the battery's dead on this phone.. You don't know my other number?? Its #######.. Come on man its easy, its #######.. Okay go get a pen and paper.. You got one? alright note this down #######.. I'm really sorry, but it'll cut off any minute so pls just give me a call on #######.."

By then I started realizing that this was all a prank.. It was a very poor attempt to give me his number since he didn't have the balls to talk to me directly.. That wasn't the end of it though.. Here's how the rest of the call went as he realized I wasn't paying attention or noting his number down..

"Come on, just take it down, its #######.. You'd rather memorize it? That's alright its #######.. Okay, I'm waiting for your call on ####### coz it's gonna cut off any minute.. Yeah that's right #######.. Alright then I'm waiting to hear from you!"

Can the men here get anymore lamer or more desperate! I thought I had seen it all, but this was totally something new!

It was "Just" a one night stand

So , are men really an odd species? Are they just little boys deep down inside, who take every opportunity to lie, or be truthful, and still lie?


One day I was walking along an exhibition with some friends and I bumped into a group of nice and friendly looking guys. They seemed nice, well most of them did. Except two, who rarely smiled and were asking me weird questions: like do you go clubbing? Freaky freaky. The exhibition extended over a few days so my friends and I got to see this group over and over again. Out of the many guys in the group who were all in their early twenties, I met one who particularly warmed up to me. He wasn't that nice looking, and acted weird at times; and not to mention a weird twitch he had sometimes; however all in all he was a good nice guy. You could tell by the way he treated my friends and I, and how he was opening up to me about different things in his life, mostly personal stuff. He also invited me out to dinner sometimes with his friends and he was kind, generous and had a sense of humour. He left the exhibition, and the country back to where he was from; but shockingly he stayed in touch. In fact I've never seen someone staying in touch that much. I am talking about hours on the phone every day. Over time he confessed he had feelings for me. I enjoyed the attention I was getting and in the same time started to ask myself if this would work between us. Long distance was a bit difficult, because it needed commitment from both sides. Strangely enough in our case, we both had the commitment; I knew we could make it work. But, was I attracted to him?? I wasn't so sure. Besides his lack of aesthetic beauty, which I didn't mind THAT much; there was something about him that struck me as odd. Sometimes I felt like he was an alien from another planet. Those thoughts aside; I still greatly appreciated the fact he was always in touch and showed his care and affection for me, which is alot to say for most guys we've met!!

One day as I was receiving a phone call from him he told me how much he loves me and wants this relationship to work with me. How keen he was on making it work...How much he cared for me.Wow I thought......How expressive of him. How honorable. How wonderful! How cute...We started getting closer, asking each other more personal questions. Until I decided to bring up the taboo subject. Had he done it before? If so when was the last time? I've always believed someone's sexual history says a thing or two about them. Suddeny, he replied and told me "Yesterday". WHAT. That was the only thing running through my mind.

Then, it was WHAT, HOW, WHERE, WHEN, WHY, WHO. Of course he told me the details of how he met the girl and what happened. but the main conclusion was, "It was JUST a one night stand."

I could not believe that was the way he saw it. To come from a decent, loving and affectionate man who actually showed his feelings to a girl for once, that was a hard one to take in!!

All I could think of was the dichotomy between his feelings for me, and his subsequent actions. And No guys, there is no such thing as "JUST" a one night stand. A one night stand is what it is, a one night stand. Immoral! Especially if you are confessing and showing extensive affection to a potential girlfriend. Do not go and sleep with someone in between! Discipline is just as much a part of love , as love is a part of love.