The beginning of this story sounds promising, but the ending will surprise, or even shock some of you!
He had been interested in me for over three years apparently. and I believed it. I had seen him around socially and out in the open with friends, family and relatives. He had seen me many times before but had difficulty getting in touch, until one day he tried and was successful!
He was a very nice guy. Very smart, hard working and I am sure highly affectionate and an emotionally available potential mate. He found me, which is always nice when it comes to guys and girls. Guys doing the work is the natural thing, never the girl. He kept on getting in touch, which was lovely. We met up , we exchanged stories, talks, discussions, you name it!! Things were going okay. There was still no commitment, no love and nothing else. One bad habit was observed though. He was overly romantic in words far too soon, saying the words love, happiness and eternity all in one sentence, which sounded scarey.
Another worse habit was that he would cancel out on outings sometimes; always with a very good plausible excuse though. He managed to do that about three times. I realized that I didn't feel like being in touch since he did that! However, what impressed me about this guy was that he always did call, always apologized and was always in touch regardless of some mishaps during meeting up. Some days I got busy and totally forgot him. He expected too much so far so far as phone calls and stuff, and I didnt have the time or energy and interest to exchange that with him. He was nice and all but that's about it! I never really felt like calling him, which made me feel on top of the world somehow.
He kept on saying substantial things which freaked me out. like he loved me! or that he wanted to do things with me! like holidays and god knows what. I knew something was wrong with this person; and on some level believe it or not. Despite the fact he could be the perfect boyfriend, was so nice, polite and decent; deep down inside, truly and unmistakebly I felt like he was a liar. There was something dishonest about him, despite his tone, style, words and supposadely liberal thinking. and Time only proved me right!
The fact of the matter is, when a guy pursues a girl and is consistent with her, that proves his love for her. And this doesnt mean for a few weeks. I am talking about a lifetime of pursual and a show of affection. A lifetime is just a hyperbole for the fact that the pursual must definately last more then a month! With this guy it lasted for a month or two, but as soon as I faced an obstacle, which is got to busy for him , which I honestly did; as soon as I had things to take care of; circumstances to deal with, he was off the radar. He was angry I hadnt been in touch for some time even though he knew that I was living my life quite busy; however he asked me to get in touch with him. I sent him a msg once and after that and I never heard from him again.
To be honest, I am glad I got rid of him because he was pretty ordinary and there was no chemistry. But this story shows you that even when a guy is seriously interested in you for many years, and seems perfect in every way, which this guy was, it doesn't necessarily work out to be a fairy tale story. He was no cheat or player, but in spite of his serious nature and apparent decency he let go of me pretty quick which means all his promises of love and adoration floated into thin air!
Good riddance!
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4 comments:
Thanks for sharing.
If you want my opinion on this, I'd say this is not the man's mistake. I put myself in his shoes, and I think that pursuing someone 'always' who doesn't share back the sentiments he seeks is quite hard. True that he might have promised an everlasting love, but the fact still remains that one-sided relationship can never go on.
No one can put up with being uncared for, especially from those whom they love the most.
Please don't think I'm saying this cause I want to defend the man side, of course not. I'm only saying, according to your post, that the guy was nice, very considerate, very caring, very lovely and sweet. And by you becoming busy with your life, you have to realize that you abandoned him, left him alone. A lot of people get busy with thier lives, yet, they still maintain solid grounds between whom they love. That is why the mistake comes from the girl not the guy.
Reading the story again, I think that the guy wasn't indeed a liar. It might be just that his proud was stepped on. Allow me to let you on to a little secret.. Most of men don't like to beg anyone. They don't want to seem too needy. Maybe you should think of that. :)
I'm just wondering how is the relationship now? Why lost contact? Are you still busy to just call and say hi....? Also you said the guy let go of you pretty quick.. Hmm..do you think that two months time is quite short? And for how long should he wait so that he could be justified a reasonable guy?
Please forgive me to say this, but I think it was you who didn't want him after all no? Please reconsider. Not all boys are liars.
Again thanks for sharing was interesting to read. And I apologize for long comment.
Keep it up and Best wishes,
Yours,
Darth.Enigma
You are right, endless pursual is futile, however he had this bad habit of cancelling on me or promising to show up and then cancelling last minute. so he triggered it all really. For me, as soon as a guy consistently makes a mistake it's a sign that One may not be a priority to them.
the relationship or friendship blooming let's call it, is non existant now. We lost contact because he chose not to reply my msg which shows he didnt really have feelings for me. pride or no pride, when you have feelings for somenoe you will stay in touch.
I would never call and say hi to anyone who's ignored me for a second. And since he has , he does not get that privilage unfortunately.
It wasnt two months, it was a little over a month I reckon. And I think that's quite short. I think the longer time a guy can consistently show feelings for the better. One month and a bit is definately no where near enough.
I didnt really want him from the start to be honest, but It was also a way to see how serious he was. I think I could have been potentially more interested in him if he was more consistent and did less cancelling on me.
Thanks very much for your comment
Ouch.
I hate one-sided relationships.
one sided relationships seem to be the worst.
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